Head in the Clouds
by Attack of the Bunnies
Summary: This wasn't supposed to happen! She wasn't supposed to fall in love with Harry James Pottershe wasn't supposed to be a girl, either!


**Head in the Clouds**

Part I: September

_By: Attack of the Bunnies_

September 1, Thursday

Yet another year at Hogwarts. Actually, only two more, counting this year, and we'll all be sent off into the world by ourselves. What will we do then, after school, without our professors and Dumbledore to guide us? I know what I plan to do. Turn spy for the Order, like my godfather, and when the war is over, I'll change my name, making it look as if "Draco Malfoy" was killed near the end of the war. Then I'll get myself a quiet life somewhere, forgetting that I was ever the son of Voldemort's right hand man, Lucius Malfoy (who escaped from prison a few weeks ago).

September 2, Friday

Life is just great at the moment. (Sarcasm.) I have to tutor Potter in Potions. If it were on Severus's orders (Ha, I'm allowed to call him that because I'm his godson!), I would probably write to father, complaining. (Even though I hate the man, I can't let him know that.) But Severus only put us together on orders from Dumbledore. I'll have to ask him next time he wants to see me.

September 3, Saturday

Well, my little study session with Potter wasn't too bad. We made a truce.

"Why do you like starting fights with us, Malfoy?"  
"I don't."  
"Then why do you?"  
"Because I'm supposed to. But I'm sick of that. Besides, this rivalry always was a bit childish." I told him, and he laughed.

"You've got that right. Truce?"

"Whatever."

"Right, Draco. Are we gonna start, or what?" I raised an eyebrow at him calling me by my first name.

"I'm not going to call you anything but Potter, alright?"

"I don't expect you to. But if you're really not going to fight with us, then I don't want to keep calling you Malfoy because it reminds me of your father," He told me, and I silently agreed with him. I always hated my last name. When the war is over, and I can make it look like I died, I'm going to change it.

September 4, Sunday

I received a letter from Father, reminding me that I'm to get the Dark Mark the day I turn seventeen. That will be in a little more than a year, on January 23. I'm the second youngest in the school, since I'm only fifteen right now, and I'm in sixth year. I was born in January, though, so they let me come.

I've talked with Dumbledore numerous times about what will happen when I take the mark. We've decided that I will spy alongside Severus, going to all of the meetings, and reporting everything to Dumbledore. It'll also get me excused from classes (though I'd rather go through an entire day of History of Magic than a Death Eater meeting!).

September 5, Monday

Potter is trying to pay attention in Potions, which is one of the reasons he sucks at it. (The not paying attention and blowing off Severus part.) Another reason is he's just not Potions-coordinated like some people are.

September 6, Tuesday

Well, Potter seems to have told Weasley and Granger about the truce, so now they're not bothering me and I'm not bothering them. Mostly we just leave each other alone.

I wish Pansy Parkinson would just leave me alone as they do. She's always following me and it does get rather irritating…

Blaise is the only decent conversationalist, and it really does suck that he's in love with me. (As he's told me many times, and I believe him, because if he were just saying it, he wouldn't look so angry every time Pansy flirts with me.)

September 7, Wednesday

Resumed Occlumency lessons with Severus today. We're both going to have to be really, really good at it or else we'll just get ourselves killed (for real) while spying.

September 8, Thursday

My favorite class is Ancient Runes. Why? Because I love foreign languages and stuff like that. I speak and write French and German fluently. I learned both on my own. French while I was home during the summer before second year and German before third year. I had nothing else to do, so why not?

More Occlumency with Severus.

September 9, Friday

Well, this is surprising. Severus has told me that I've learned all he can teach me about Occlumency.

Severus also told me that I would probably have to teach a fellow student Occlumency. I wonder who it is.

September 10, Saturday

That's just wonderful! Now I not only have to help Potter with Potions, but I have to teach him Occlumency as well! Once again, Dumbledore's planning. What is he up to this time?

September 11, Sunday

Well, Severus obviously did not teach Potter much about Occlumency. He didn't eve know how to make a mind shield! I helped him build one.

"Focus on one memory that you love," I told him. He just nodded. "Got it? Now choose one thing in that memory, something like a color or a sound. Focus on that one thing, and only that." I used Occlumency to get into his mind, and his shield held up pretty well for a first timer. I didn't look through his memories like Severus did (why, I'm still not sure—that's something you don't do even if you hate someone! The only reasonable time to search someone's memories is when you think they're a spy or something like that). He seemed pretty surprised that I didn't. I just saw one memory—him punching his cousin in the face during this last summer. Go Potter.

His shield is an odd one. He focused on the color red. So the next time I tried to get in, his shield held longer, and I was able to see it for what it was. Red hair.

"Weasley hair, Potter?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"My mum's hair."

"You sure she wasn't a Weasley?"

"I wouldn't mind it if she was."

Then we got back to work. He's quite a fast learner, just as I am.

September 12, Monday

Taught Potter to reinforce his shield today. Then we had to stop in favor of doing our Potions work (once again, Dumbledore asked for Severus to partner us up together).

September 13, Tuesday

I decided to teach Potter how to break into someone's mind today. Stupidly, I decided that I would let him look at my own memories, instead of using someone else. He saw one of the worst of them. The memory that made me hate my father.

I guess that I'd avoided thinking about why for so long, trying to convince myself that it never happened, and I just hated him for no reason. It didn't work.

I don't think he knows how to stop the memories yet, so both of us had to watch him nearly kill my second oldest brother (I'm the second youngest of five, unknown to most because the rest have been deemed "blood traitors").

When the memory was over, Potter was just standing there babbling incoherently.

"Sorry—I didn't mean to see—Why?—your dad—"

"It's fine, Potter. Don't worry about it." I told him, and he seemed happy that I wasn't angry. Of course he thought that I would be angry, after what Severus did last year!

September 14, Wednesday

I hate Longbottom. He just humiliated me in front of half of the other sixth years! We were in Potions, Potter and I beside him, and he accidentally used his wand to turn Granger into a bird. He tried to turn her back with the usual "finite incantatum" but it hit ME instead.

When the spell hit me, I don't know what he said, but it made me go crashing back into Potter, and he dropped something into our potion, and it spilled on me.

You know what happened? I got turned into a girl.

The worst part is that Severus says that it's irreversible. So I'm stuck as a girl for the rest of my bloody life!

September 15, Thursday

Great. Now I have people other than Blaise swearing their love for me. It's driving me absolutely insane! At least Pansy's gone. She's just trying to be friends now, even though we can all tell that she's really unhappy about what happened. That's one of the only good things.

One good thing is that I don't look like my father anymore. My hair's not even blonde. I'm now a brunette, and instead of grey eyes, they're bright blue like my grandmother's.

I'm not looking forward to having to tell Father that I'm a girl now. What am I going to change my name to? For now everyone's still calling me Malfoy, except for Potter. He's just calling me Draco like nothing's wrong.

September 16, Friday

I sent a letter to Mother and Father today, as well as letters to my other four siblings. (They live with my grandmother, and have all changed their names to Blackwood.)

September 17, Saturday

I got replies from everyone this morning. Mother wrote a separate letter than father, and seemed okay with the change (of course, she always wanted a daughter that she wouldn't have to disown). Father was rather shocked, but didn't seem angry. My two older brothers were really happy about it, saying that they could set me up with their friends. (Merlin I hope they were just kidding!) My younger brother (who is always infuriatingly calm about absolutely everything) said very rationally that Father would most likely pay less attention to me, and I wanted to hug him for that. My older (and only) sister was so happy, saying she'd always wanted a little sister.

I spent most of today with Potter, teaching him Occlumency. I don't know why, but after a while we seemed to actually enjoy being near each other. It's almost like we're _friends_ or something!

September 18, Sunday

Well, my grandmother Amara Blackwood sent me a letter today (originally she was a Parker, and then she married my grandfather Jason Malfoy, and then they both changed their names to Blackwood after they were named bloodtraitors. (Jason was killed by Death Eaters in the first war.) But anyone after them who was a disowned Malfoy or Black became a Blackwood. (Except for Sirius Black, who refused and kept his last name just to spite his mother.)

Anyhow, she suggested the name Dairine. I like it, so I said yes. So now I am Dairine Malfoy (we've decided that I'll be Dairine Blackwood once the war's over).

September 19, Monday

I quit the Quidditch team.

September 20, Tuesday

Who knew that McGonagall has a motherly side to her? Since Severus very well couldn't teach me how to be a girl (ha, I get a hilarious mental image whenever I think about it!) I was sent to McGonagall. So I spent most of yesterday evening talking to her, and she finally showed me how to do something with that dreaded hair of mine! (It's so much longer than it used to be, when I was a boy. It's brown, wavy and waist length. So she showed me how to braid it.)

September 21, Wednesday

Ha, I beat Severus at chess.

September 22, Thursday

My second eldest brother, Jonathan Blackwood, has decided that I should date Charlie Weasley. (The two are best friends, and both are dragon trainers.) I almost fainted when I realized that he was serious, and he's actually going to try and set me up with Charlie.

September 23, Friday

Great going, Grandmother Amara! She screwed up all of our plans! Having decided that she didn't want to put me in any danger (she was thinking of my later spying, of course), she decided to take my parents to court over custody of me. Eventually, she exposed them both as Voldemort supporters, and not only got custody of me, but also put both of my parents in Azkaban (as if that's going to hold them) and the Ministry is debating giving my father the Kiss. It would serve him right.

September 24, Saturday

Finally I got a chance to talk to Dumbledore! He called me to his office, asking what I wanted to do. I said that I was going to act as if I hated my grandmother (only in front of those who needed to be acted in front of) and spy anyway. Dumbledore asked, very plainly, if I wanted to just be in the Order of the Phoenix outright, like my siblings and grandparents. I said yes. So now on my seventeenth birthday I'll be initiated as an Order member, instead of a Death Eater.

He wouldn't answer me when I asked about why he was putting me with Potter all the time.

September 25, Sunday

I worked with the Golden Boy again today, and I made a mistake…

While we were working, he blacked out for a moment trying to keep his shield up against me.

"Up, Harry! Chocolate will fix anything!" I told him, shoving a chocolate frog at him. He stared at me while holding the squirming chocolate frog in his hand. I don't think he realized how ridiculous he looked.

"What?" I asked him.

"You just called me Harry."

"I did?" I said. "Oops."

"I think you should call me Harry from now on, now that we both know that you can."

"Whatever."

And that is how I began calling him Harry. Wonderful.

September 26, Monday

I don't think I mentioned before that I'd been given my own room after being turned into a girl, did I? It's not in the dungeons, for which I'm grateful. (Just because I'm a Slytherin does not mean that I'm automatically fine with living in such a damp, cold place!) My room is in some Tower, and I love it. Since it's in Ravenclaw territory, it's decorated in blue. I hated how everything was green. Now my room is blue and silver.

September 27, Tuesday

Harry told me that Hermione wanted to "meet me" as she put it. (She means that she's never met the nice me, Dairine Blackwood.) I said sure, not really knowing why. I guess I'm actually friends with Harry.

September 28, Wednesday

I talked to Blaise today, and I told him about my friendship with Harry. He scowled a little, but he was okay with it. I was sure he would be, since he's anti-Voldemort. (He's neutral.)

September 29, Thursday

I got a letter from Father today, saying that he would not tolerate me being in the Order. I just laughed when I read it, because right before I was brought his, I got one from the Ministry, informing me that he was to receive the Dementor's Kiss.

September 30, Friday

A month of school, gone already? Wow. I can't wait until Christmas holidays! I'll be going home to Blackwood Manor (my parents gave me Malfoy Manor, but I'm not going to live there. Maybe when the war is over I'll make it into an orphanage or something).


End file.
